Imagine wearing a dress that doesn’t fit you but you still wear it because that’s what the majority wants for you. By the time you take it off, you are finally able to breathe and somehow, that suffocating feeling has worn off. That feeling is similar whenever we make decisions based on what others tell us. Sadly, being a people-pleaser would not let you go any further in life.
For one, I am guilty of this. I have been a people-pleaser all my life until I decided not to be one lately. I did things because that’s what others tell me. I follow what everyone does because that’s what society expects of me. At first, it was great when I heard praises on how I did well. Yet, there will always be a limit for pretending to be someone that we are not.
We wanted to please everyone, but worrying what others think of us is exhausting. Until I realized, “Should I be living like this until my deathbed?” That’s when I decided to eventually let go of other’s expectations of me and started to live my life on my own terms.
It wasn’t an easy one so I will share the life-changing reasons to stop worrying about what others think of you.
1. You only have one shot in life so make the most out of it
We will always hear friendly advices, unsolicited opinions, and harmless suggestions from others but at the end of the day, you will be the one who will decide for your life. Yes, those people might be family members, friends, and colleagues who seemed to be concerned about you. Yet, do they really care that you are the one who will bear the consequences of the decision?
When I stop worrying about what others think of me, I had much control in my life. I willingly say yes when I want to pursue something and no if I don’t want to.
When it came to my senses that I just have one shot in life, I wanted to give justice to what my soul wants to do while I’m still alive. We have limited time so pursue what you want while the opportunity is there.
2. You know who you are and what’s best for you
We are not perfect. Our parents and the people who went before us, as well, did not have anything figured out in their lives. The era they grew up was different from ours and so will be for our future children.
If you think those people don’t add value to your life, don’t mind their opinions. If it’s taking a toll on your mental health, you can block them not only on social media but also in real life. Sure, they can have those opinions and talk about you for the rest of their day and their lives, but years and decades from now, they won’t matter in your life.
Just because they have imperfect perspectives that dictate and limit their lives doesn’t mean that it also applies to your life. What’s right for the majority may be wrong for you. So, again, stop worrying about what others think of you.
3. People will always have something to say about you
I always wanted to look good for others. I don’t like making a single mistake because I am afraid of what they would tell about me. I always make sure that not even one person would say a negative thing about me.
That was me before. Thinking about it right now, it was exhausting. It made me realized that I’m not the problem, contrary to Taylor Swift’s song. A person who has problem with what you may just be insecure or just want to spread bitterness. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, regardless if you do good or make mistakes.
4. People have different personalities and carry emotional baggage
Other people carry unresolved emotional baggage. With this, it’s also our part to understand why they have such opinions about us. Probably they just want the things that you have achieved or they want you to drag you on their unresolved issues.
It is important to listen to your intuition and assess whenever a person just randomly says unsolicited advice to you. At the end of the day, it’s your call to decide what’s best for you.
I respect others who have different perceptions in life. Yet, I also wanted to bring justice with the personality and values I uphold because these are the things that make me who I am.
5. Don’t be a prisoner of other’s opinions
“Care about what other people think and you will always be a prisoner.” This is a timeless quote from Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, that still applies in this time.
It is suffocating to exist just because of other’s opinions. Don’t be a captive of other’s opinions. We want to live freely based on what we truly want. We may hear other’s opinions but at the end of the day, your intuition and opinion matters the most.
6. Life is fulfilling when no one can stop you
You will never get what you want if you always worry what others think about you. You are trapped and you can’t move forward because others have control of you.
If these people truly want the best for you, they would support your decision. If it’s otherwise, it’s better to establish boundaries with them and decide for yourself.
As you let go of these things and as I stop worrying about what others think of me, I also detached unnecessary stress in my life. In my experience, the growth journey of going in my own path is more enjoyable knowing that I’m doing this at my own pace.
Conclusion
I have always liked hiking in the mountains. Reaching the top feels fulfilling while you get to see the scenic view below. Right there, I realized that I am just a dust in this mountain and undeniably, in this universe.
When I reached the peak, no one cared about what I did there. Seeing the people below, they are also busy minding their own lives. I am reminded there that freedom is within me wherever I go.
In the end, the final reason to stop worrying about what others think of you is because you are unique and enough. No matter who you are, what they say about you, or what past experiences you had. You are in control of your life and will live it the way your soul wants it to be.
With this thought that you are just a dust in this universe, would you still let people hold you back with their opinions?
