When it comes to typical weddings in the Philippines, it’s usually a big affair with 150-200 guests. Usually, parents invite people to their children’s weddings just because they’re influential or can give cash gifts, even though the couple hasn’t known them in the first place.
Typical weddings here are like family reunions which can be overwhelming. Couples might feel pressured to have a grand wedding because it’s seen as a once-in-a-lifetime event, but it can be pricey.
However, not everyone feels the need to follow these traditions. Like me and my husband, we prefer a small and intimate wedding. We’ve always wanted to spend more quality time with our close friends and family without the pressure of entertaining a huge crowd and spending a lot of money for just a one-day event.
With planning a small intimate wedding, you might think it sounds easier, but it still requires detailed preparations. As the bride and groom, we decided everything from the guest list, venue, and all the other details. We wanted to ensure that everything went smoothly on our big day with a game plan in place.
Keep on reading if you want to know the things we did on how we successfully pulled off our intimate church wedding, from start to finish, and the saving tips we will share that you can do for an intimate wedding.
What Is Considered An Intimate Wedding and Why’s It’s A Good Idea?
If you ask anyone what’s their idea of a small intimate wedding, it can be a subjective one. Some would say, 80, 50, or 20 guests. By definition, an intimate wedding is a small celebration where only a few guests are invited. In essence, the number of guests doesn’t count as the intention of having one is the most important aspect.
Holding an intimate wedding is challenging for us as we have large families from both sides. Yet, we stood firm and pursued what we wanted. If you’re planning to also have a small wedding, this is your sign to do it.
Secure The Requirements First
1. Government Requirements
Get The Needed Government Requirements
When you decide to get married, the first thing you should do is to secure a marriage license. However, before you can do this, you must comply the original copy and photocopies of the following:
- CENOMAR – Secure an appointment from the Philippine Statistics Office
- Birth Certificate – Secure an appointment from the Philippine Statistics Office
- CEDULA – You can apply for a cedula at your barangay, city, or municipal hall. In our case, we got it from the barangay office.
Secure A Marriage License
After complying with the requirements mentioned, you may now secure a marriage license. Submit the requirements to the Local Civil Registry (LCR) Office where any one of you reside.
The LCR in-charge will check the requirements and will fill-up the marriage license application for you. Afterwards, they will ask you to pay for Php300.00 at the cashier. Then, you will go back to the LCR office to present the receipt to the in-charge.
They will then inform you about the schedule for your Pre-Marriage Counseling (PMC) Seminar. In our case, we had the mandatory seminar whole day at the Municipal Commission on Population (POPCOM) office where we got married. It was said that this seminar was only for 25-year-olds below before but they now had it as a mandatory one regardless of age.
We paid Php110.00 for the PMC Seminar. After attending the PMC Seminar, you will then be issued a certificate of completion. You will submit this to the LCR as a requirement for securing the marriage license. After applying for the marriage license, this will undergo a 10-day posting period prior to the marriage license issuance.
After the 10-day posting period, get the marriage license from the LCR Office and submit it to the church where you will hold your wedding ceremony. The marriage license is valid for 120 days which you can use to get married anywhere in the Philippines.
2. Church Requirements
There are the usual requirements but it would be better to inquire to church’s secretary office where you intend to get married. For us, here are the requirements that we complied:
- Marriage License
- Photocopy of Birth Certificate
- Original PSA CENOMAR
- New Baptismal Certificate for Marriage Purposes
- New Confirmation Certificate for Marriage Purposes
- Marriage Permit for bride only – Since I’m from another parish, I need to get a marriage permit from my local parish where I inhabit.
- Pre-cana Seminar (Whole day for Saturday and Sunday – 1 weekend)
- Interview with the priest
- List of sponsors who can surely attend the wedding
- Confession
- Marriage Banns (An announcement of an intended marriage, naming the persons to be married, which is publicly read or posted for three Sundays.)
What Are The Things We Considered?
1. Budget
We wanted to have a meaningful celebration without overspending or going into debt. To do this, we set a realistic budget that took into account all aspects of the wedding.
A great way I recommend is listing down everything that you’ll spend and omitting those that are unnecessary. What helped me was making an Excel spreadsheet and listing down everything there. That allowed us to see the big picture of what we will be spending.
By sticking to our budget, we were able to prioritize what was most important to us and make informed decisions about where to allocate our funds.
2. Wedding Guest List
Originally, we aimed for a guest list of 50 individuals. However, accommodating my mom’s desire to include additional family members led us to expand the guest list to 80. This adjustment became a challenge for us as it altered the small intimate wedding that we wanted resulting in adjustments in our plan.
This is a pretty common issue if you belong to a Filipino family since it is a big deal if some relatives are not invited. However, following traditions and rules, like having a big wedding, is not necessary especially if you want a small wedding. In the following sections of this blog article, I’ll dive deeper into the challenges we faced in this aspect.
After finalizing the guest list, we focused on curating a list of the most important people in our lives. We wanted to ensure that we were still able to have an intimate wedding despite the changes.
3. Wedding Ceremony Venue
We decided to get married in my husband’s hometown at Jasaan, Misamis Oriental here in the Philippines. We exchanged vows at the Immaculate Conception Church. In my previous blog post, I detailed our intimate church wedding expense list and highlighted our decision to have an intimate wedding.
The church holds deep meaning for us as a newlywed couple, but its importance extends beyond our personal connection. Recognized by the country’s National Museum as Northern Mindanao’s National Cultural Treasure, this church embodies rich cultural values and boasts a stunning baroque design.
Its antique and rustic design meant that we didn’t feel the need to overwhelm it with excessive decorations. Instead, we embraced the inherent beauty of the church and allowed its more than 200-year-old history and character to enhance the ambiance of our ceremony.
4. Hiring A Church Coordinator
Even though we took charge of most of the planning ourselves, we recognized the importance of having a church coordinator to ensure everything ran smoothly. This helped alleviate any stress and ensured that all the details were well-coordinated.
While it’s not always necessary to hire a church coordinator for an intimate wedding, it was needed in our case. With family members occupied and unfamiliar with the intricacies of the wedding ceremony, having a knowledgeable coordinator is important.
Additionally, the church coordinator was well-versed in the rules and policies of the church. This ensured that our ceremony adhered to all necessary guidelines. This arrangement provided us with peace of mind knowing that our special day would unfold seamlessly under the guidance of an experienced coordinator.
If you can’t find a church coordinator, you may ask your friends and family members who know about the wedding ceremony flow. They can help you do the job in your wedding ceremony.
5. Wedding Reception Venue
Upon reviewing our expenses in an Excel spreadsheet to see the bigger picture, it became evident that a substantial portion of our budget would be allocated on the reception This observation isn’t unique to our wedding but is a common reality for many couples planning their special day.
My goal was to find a budget-friendly option without compromising on quality. I did some research on Facebook and we were fortunate to discover an intimate reception venue that offered a comprehensive package including food, grazing table, sound system, lights, and decorations. This all-inclusive package simplified the planning process and helped us manage costs effectively.
For those considering a similar approach, I highly recommend considering HSG Cafe for your intimate gatherings. They’re located in Balingasag, Misamis Oriental. Their convenient package and attention to detail made our wedding reception a memorable and stress-free experience. For more information, you can reach out to them through their Facebook page.
5. Wedding Suppliers
When selecting our wedding suppliers, we chose trusted professionals who would deliver exceptional service on our special day.
With the prevalence of scams in the wedding industry, we were adamant about only engaging with suppliers whom my husband knew personally (since he’s in the wedding industry as a professional photographer and videographer). You can also choose those who come highly recommended through referrals or positive reviews on social media
By doing this, we aimed to mitigate the risk of encountering fraudulent suppliers on our wedding day. We’re grateful to have found a network of trustworthy professionals to collaborate with.
For those interested in learning more about the suppliers we chose for our wedding, we’ve included links to social media pages in our wedding video. You can explore and reach out to them for reliable services of your wedding day.
6. Program
When we crafted our wedding reception program, we opted for a concise and meaningful approach. Instead of a lengthy program filled with games or prolonged segments, we focused on key moments that held special significance to us and our loved ones.
Our reception program included essential elements such as wine toasting, cake-cutting, and a first dance. We also ensured ample time for guests to enjoy a delightful dinner.
Also, we omitted the money dance or longest money line, as we didn’t feel the need to solicit monetary contributions from our guests. All we wanted was their presence and support on our big day. This allowed us to focus on the genuine joy of celebrating our love surrounded by cherished friends and family.
Wedding Tipid Tips or Saving Tips
1. Set A Budget Limit and Stick To It
Determine the total amount you’re comfortable spending on your wedding and allocate specific amounts to different aspects such as venue, catering, attire, and decorations. Remember to track your expenses diligently and resist the temptation to exceed your budget.
Opt for budget-friendly alternatives without compromising quality at the same time. This disciplined approach ensures that you prioritize what’s truly important to you while avoiding financial stress.
2. Omit The Unnecessary And Non-essential Stuff
Opting to omit unnecessary and non-essential elements from your wedding can lead to significant savings without compromising the essence of your special day.
One area where we saved much was with the wedding entourage. Instead of a large entourage, we prioritized the roles of the maid of honor and best man, recognizing their significance in our lives. We just had them wear any white outfits they had.
By doing so, we reduced unnecessary expenses and eliminated the need to rent outfits and provide makeup for additional bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Also, we decided not having a same-day edit (SDE) and prenup photos and videos. While my husband owns a photography and videography business and has the equipment to have a shoot, we weighed the costs associated with these extras, including food and travel expenses for the staff we will hire for that time.
Ultimately, we concluded that these expenses were not essential to our wedding experience. Instead, we wanted to allocate our money towards meaningful experiences or save them for future endeavors.
Furthermore, we were intentional in our choice of giveaways. We want them to be both practical and sustainable for our guests. That’s why we opted for wooden engraved fans. This not only served as keepsakes from our special day but also as practical items that our guests could use over time.
We wanted to provide our guests with something that would be cherished and utilized, rather than just another trinket to collect dust on a shelf at home.
3. Utilized What We Have And Bought Things Online
A great and effective wedding-saving tip is to make use of what you already have and to shop online for our wedding essentials. For my outfit, I decided to explore online options, which allowed me to find a minimalist gown at an affordable price compared to traditional bridal or formalwear stores.
I found something that suited my style and budget that is also of high quality. we were able to save money on our wedding expenses while still achieving the look and feel we desired for our special day.
Utilizing what we have and shopping online doesn’t necessarily mean being cheap. It’s just about being resourceful. There are so many options that we can choose at present and we just need to take advantage of the multitude of alternatives available to us.
By doing this, we were able to save money on our wedding expenses without compromising on quality or style.
4. We Planned Every Detail And Did Not Hire A Planner Or Organizer
We meticulously planned every detail ourselves, rather than hiring a wedding planner or organizer. Despite the common belief that hiring a professional planner is essential for a smooth wedding, we found that with careful organization and communication, we were more than capable of handling an intimate wedding planning process on our own.
Through this, we were able to tailor every aspect of our wedding to our preferences and budget constraints. We dedicated time to researching vendors, comparing prices, and negotiating contracts to ensure we were getting the best value for our money.
While we did enlist the help of a church coordinator to oversee the wedding ceremony and decorations, we managed all other aspects of the wedding planning independently. This allowed us to save significantly on planner fees while still ensuring that our special day unfolded seamlessly.
Ultimately, planning our own wedding not only saved us money but also gave us a deeper sense of ownership and satisfaction in bringing our vision to life.
Common Challenge Of A Small Wedding
A small wedding can present its own set of challenges particularly when it comes to managing family expectations, a scenario that’s common in Filipino culture.
The challenge we faced was the pressure from family members to include certain relatives or influential individuals in the wedding entourage. While it’s natural for loved ones to want to be involved, it lead to disagreements and conflicts over who should be included.
Another challenge arises when one of the family members try to assert their opinions and make decisions about various aspects of the wedding, from the guest list to the decor choices. This lead to tension and frustration, especially if their preferences don’t align with our vision for that day.
Additionally, family members sometimes resorted to guilt-tripping tactics as they express concerns about what others will think if certain individuals aren’t invited to the wedding. While we had compromises to maintain harmonious relationships with family members, we remained firm in our decisions and prioritized what felt right for us.
Ultimately, your wedding day should reflect the values of you and your partner and it’s okay to respectfully stand your ground in the face of these external pressures.
Happy Ending Note
The decision to have an intimate wedding is immensely rewarding. Despite the challenges and pressures that may arise, the intimacy and authenticity of such a celebration often make it worth it in the end.
What truly matters is that you and your partner have the opportunity to experience your dream wedding surrounded by the people who matter most to you. Honoring these relationships is just as significant as celebrating the new family you are creating on your wedding day.
Curious about the expenses list we had for our intimate wedding? Check out my other blog post for the expense list and actual breakdown.
